I'm always a little nervous when I introduce new people to my family. I understand that it must be a little unnerving to meet 90+ people at once; it probably feels like being the new kid in a classroom or walking out onstage during a concert. I also know that in addition to being enormous, loud, and chaotic, my family exhibits medium-to-high levels of angst, shame, dogmatism, communally accepted self-loathing and musical/literature snobbery, in addition to bizarre word associations and not being good at sports (save Bill, and John-Mark and Aya, who are grafts, anyway). Despite all of this, I always hope wildly that whoever I'm bringing over will somehow be able to see the humor in all of the idiosyncrasy and enjoy us! Don't we all want people to love the people who are dear to us, and to love us for the place we come from? That's the ideal, but family cultures can be difficult to integrate, and sometimes the best you can expect is that the new person escapes the social engagements with minimal awkwardness.
That's why it's so amazing when someone does more than you could ever have expected, dreamed or hoped for.
Jonathan's associations with my family have been kind of like this:
Alma 18:9 And they said unto him: Behold, he is feeding thy horses. Now the king had commanded his servants, previous to the time of the watering of their flocks, that they should prepare his horses and chariots, and conduct him forth to the land of Nephi...
Since I have been dating Jonathan "Jason" Strange I have been astonished at his faithfulness. I could write for hours about what he has done for ME--what doors and windows have opened, what brokenness has been restored and made beautiful, what vindicative Lamanites he has cut off the arms of--but in addition to all that he's been out feeding my horses. He is so tenderly, consciously, intrepidly good to my family.
I thought it sweet how interested he was in them before meeting any of them--he remembered their names and their stories, made connections and mourned or rejoiced with me with the things I carried and told him--but his interactions with my parents and siblings have shown me his sincerity. He made all of them, one by one, a friend.
Jonathan makes a conscious effort to have one-on-one time with everyone and is everlastingly helpful and patient. He plays video games once a week with my brother, helps me plan family nights and makes everyone feel so welcome, drives up to Ogden just for Sunday dinner, helped my father rake and bag leaves out in the yard, brought hemp to make jewelry with Mary and Tanny, rescued Cow the day she ran out of gas, went on Christmas errands with my mother, helps me with the construction and delivery of birthday surprises, gets down on the floor to play games with the Smalls, taught Tanner the right way to hold a cat, brought Aya peach tea when she was having a hard day, sacrificed himself for Beaven during Murder in the Dark. He remembers our inside jokes and builds on them. He is always ready to listen or counsel, whichever is needed. He will often notice when someone is struggling and tell me, "We need to spend more time with/do something nice for [whoever]." He finds a way to connect with everyone, even the slow-to-warm up ones. I love watching him do that; I appreciate it so deeply I feel like my heart will burst.
Jonathan has truly blessed our family--my relationships with them are even better having him around--and I know he will continue to do so. His clarity and reason shatter our irrational fatalism. When he is around, all of us have more hope.
So I've been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come. Thank you Jonathan for being gentle with the treasure of my heart!
On a completely "unrelated" note (cause, get it? Un-related?) aren't these stunning?!:
2 comments:
love this rachel. love the happiness and completeness you have found. love it so much that it makes my heart almost ache-- really, i don't know if i have ever been as happy for another person finding their soulmate. can't wait to hear more details and endearments in person. call me. love you.
You're much to kind Rachel. Your family has been so warm and open with me! I've never felt so at home among people that should have been strangers. I love your family. They are so unique and good. Some of them are shy, but they've all been accommodating and nice to me. I feel blessed to have them in my life. Either way, you're sweet for feeling that way about me.
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