We're all interested in what hurts us-Bodas de Sangre

Rachel and I recently went to a play at BYU called Blood Weddings or Bodas de Sangre. It's a play by Federico Garcia Lorca. Supposedly it is the most famous Spanish play. The story is about a marriage between a man and a woman. On the wedding day, the bride runs away with her former boyfriend. I really loved the story, despite everyone's stupidity. Apparently, Lorca wrote it as a symbol of the old ways(the wedding) opposing the new ways(the runaway bride). A reoccurring theme throughout is blood and how it influences the characters and their decisions. It made me think about how that desire is in all of us. We all desire "freedom" at all costs at some point or various points in our lives. The fight of generations to hold onto the way things have been done before or embrace the new ways of doing things has always piqued my interest--the apparent wisdom of the old ways and the logic of the new ways.

I've always seen this struggle, even when I was young. People have ways of doing things...and they like how they do things. I would often to complain to my dad about this problem. He would quote Simon and Garfunkel to me, "Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest." I have a wise father.

I've always looked to people's intentions for their choices. What I saw from a young age is that people aren't usually looking for the best way; they're looking to show others that their way is already the best. I'm not merely talking about old generations...new generations are just as guilty for this kind of thinking. We all are. Because even when we don't say or even feel that our way is best, we betray it all by still choosing it. If we weren't explicit in words about what we thought was best, we were explicit in our actions. Isn't that what really counts all along? What we choose rather than what we talked about choosing?

I'm wondering: what makes us not listen, not consider new things? When someone says something that doesn't jive with our own world/culture/family/personal view, why is it that something inside of us says "this guy doesn't know what hes talking about, this guy is an idiot."

If you know me, you know that I am guilty of this kind of thinking more than most. In my own life, the thing that causes me to shut down to new ideas most is mistrust of the person explaining them to me. When I cannot trust, due to previous experience, that the person talking to me is mostly trying to convey truth, I shut down. Changing my ideas is hard enough when it's someone I trust, but its almost impossible if its someone I mistrust. I've also noticed that when I've gone somewhere for the purpose of being instructed, such as a seminar, I'm also more open. I suppose my intention softens my heart to new ideas in these situations.

I'm reminded of how Truth is defined in the scriptures: Things as they really have been, are, and will be. I believe this is why I innately trust people I believe are on a continuum lurching toward seeing things as they truly have been, are, and will be. I feel as if we can transcend our narrow scope of time and thinking and truly see something greater than ourselves when we are working toward Truth. I want to be someone who is always striving to do this.

I started dating Rachel months ago now, and this is something that is true about her. She is constantly lurching toward seeing things as they truly are. She is so sweet to me. We've had struggles in our relationship and have overcome them with shining colors so far. As a result, I trust her with all of my heart. I really try to listen when she tells me things because I know that she is never trying to hurt me. People who have no malice, except(if it can even be called malice) an occasional short-lived anger in response to malice, like Rachel inspire me toward gaining a new heart. They make my soul long for a broken heart and a contrite spirit, which in the end is what makes us open to new ideas and new ways of life. Thank you, Rachel...and all the other malice-less people. Your examples are the new ideas I'm most open to.