Someday we both will walk where a baby made tomorrow is again

Yesterday was the highly anticipated gender-discerning ultrasound for our Little Stranger. I’ve been so eager to find out for awhile now; sometimes in my office at work I would look down and say out loud, “Sweet baby, what ARE you?” It seemed like the mystery of mysteries!

The ultrasound appointment was right between two of my classes, so Jonathan met me after Dr. Limb’s class and we went over to the student health center where we behaved very demurely in the waiting room, and definitely were not picking at each other’s blackheads, because sick, who would do that, especially in public.

“Jonathan,” I said fretfully as I was not holding still for him to work on one in my cheek, “I have to be honest, I’m going to be a little disappointed if it’s not a boy.” (I have always really wanted a boy first; at the same time I recognize the arbitrary nature of ascribing certain attributes to an unknown personality based solely on gender. Just so you know.)

“I think it’s a girl,” he told me, based on my midwife’s conjecture from the previous day.

“I hope,” I continued, “that when they say it out loud, I have this bursting feeling of rightness, and suddenly I’ll be really happy no matter what they say. But that’s what people said would happen with my mission call.”

“Only Racher,” Jonathan said fondly, not showing me the results of his digging.

“That’s pretty good,” I said, not admiring his work. “I wish we could hire DOLHPINS to do people’s ultrasounds. Since they’re so good at sonography. You could just wade into the ocean, and they could assess the gender with a bunch of little clicks and then they could bounce either a pink beach ball in the air, or a blue one.”

Soon enough I was clambering onto the table and Jodee the bendita ultrasound tech was squirting that goo onto my ever more prominent panzcita. I was surprised how much bigger the Little Stranger was since the last ultrasound at 14 weeks (I’m almost 21 now)! It looks like a real baby now and not a seahorse or salamander. It was such a sweet thing to see, especially that little heartbeat pulsating in the middle. Jonathan and I veritably beamed at each other.

Jodee was very thorough and showed us all of the limbs, the stomach, the spine, the bladder, and the kidneys. “Kidneys!” I exclaimed. “I FORGOT about those! Good thing the baby remembered to make some!” I told Jonathan last week that it’s amazing how all I do is eat, (for better or for worse…mostly for better) and the baby basically constructs its own bones, tissues and organs, “like Starcraft, only in my uterus.”
Jodee measured the baby’s brain and said it was perfect. “Does it look really intelligent?” I said hopefully. “Oh, very,” she replied. “Biggest brain I’ve ever seen.” :)

Then she asked if we were ready to find out the gender. I wailed, “This is what I’m nervous for!” “Really,” said Jodee. “Most people are just nervous to find out if their baby is healthy.” (Pwned!). We laughed and I said I really was happy and grateful and overjoyed that the baby is healthy, but there’s just a finality with knowing either way…

“Well, it’s a boy!” she said brightly.

I screamed a little, “Oh my gosh! Really!” I looked at Jonny and asked, “Is that okay? Are you sad?” He was grinning so broadly, I didn’t need to ask. I told him I’d “make a girl next time,” which is anatomically impossible but sort of a politician’s promise I extended to show him my goodwill.
Anyway!

I am so very happy to be having a little guy! Or a man-child, as my Grandfather would say. My mind is teeming with thoughts but I just wanted to record the experience of finding out, for now. Ya lo quiero mucho a mi'hijo precioso, que bendicion tan agradable poder averiguar antes del nacimiento que va a ser hombre.

P.S: I'm not posting ultrasound pictures because I think they all look the same. I'm trying to be realistic about when my baby's cuteness will be emergent, which I am predicting will be around two months of age. :)