Perspective

I've been thinking a lot about what people consider to be attractive. I've had a lot of conversations with my friends about "society" and how we are all influenced by those around us. Any of my friends reading this will probably already have thought of several. I'm a little too obsessed with how much of what we think and feel comes as a direct result of what others think and feel, or at least our perception of what others think and feel. There is a trend in our society that feels very counterintuitive: the depreciation of maternity.

I often wonder how other generations would feel if they heard our talk about deciding whether or not we want to have children. Most would have considered it absurd, as having children assured that you would be taken care of. For most, not having children probably just meant late age poverty and toil. I'm in no way saying that this is a better motive for having children, I just find it interesting.

When did we separate ourselves from our biology? Why did we separate ourselves from our biology? I suppose the problems of modern man were too complex for the use of our instincts. Is that why we suppressed them all?

I guess it's a double edged sword. I feel that we all have instincts that are good and bad. Perhaps in trying to take the worst instincts out of us, we also lost the good.

Primitive people worshiped goddesses with all the biological signs of fertility; they were thick, wide hipped, big breasted women. Many of the statuettes of that time are of women who are pregnant. Primitive man understood that survival depended upon fertility. It was an understanding of the world that modern man, at least in our country, has forgotten. Everything in his life depended upon fertility. The food he ate depended upon the ability of animal life and vegetation procreating, and doing so successfully. They worshiped the fertility of women because it was a symbol of everything good they had in life. Without fertility their lives were not possible.

This is as true now as it was since man first showed up here, however you believe we showed up at first. But there are trends in our world that show that we are steadily forgetting this. Most of us are so far disconnected from the fertility of the land and of the animals that it makes sense.

I'm not a big fan of Nietzsche, but there is one idea that I really liked of his, though I don't agree with it fully. In twilight of the idols he writes about how we hate things that denote decay and love things that denote progress and life. What does it say about our world if we admire signs of decay and despise the signs of life and fertility?

There are many examples of this, but I want to talk about what is portrayed as attractive and just how much we just go along with what they tell us to be attracted to. This subject has been beaten to death, but look at the models of our times! Our symbols of sexuality are symbols of decay. Many, specifically the women, are underweight and gaunt. What does this say about our sexuality? What has happened to biological man? Where have his instincts gone?

I hear a lot of stories about people not being attracted to their wives once they are pregnant. "I hope she loses the weight fast so things can go back to 'normal" Ever heard that? How about "Once I got pregnant my husband wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole" Things like this should be disturbing, not normal. Have you stopped to think about why we might feel this way? I firmly believe that this has everything to do with what our society has taught us is beautiful and not what our biology and instincts would teach us is beautiful. Your ancestors, at one point, worshiped that body form. It was the epitome of beauty.

When women are pregnant they appear as goddesses. As superstitious as they may seem, I think they were right. Science has possibly demystified the experience, but in my mind it is ever more miraculous. We should be humbled by creation.

I think we men, in particular, need to reevaluate why we find women attractive or unattractive. I remember when I was young, I sometimes liked girls that I was to afraid to admit I liked. Why was this? I've thought about it a lot, and I realize now that the reason I did not want anyone to know about these girls is that they were unconventionally attractive. Why should I have cared about what my peers thought was attractive? I was insecure.

People perpetuate this idea all the time. They talk about how hes not good looking enough for her, she's not good looking enough for him etc. Sometimes our elders, with wisdom you would think, perpetuate this silliness by expressing these exact feelings to their children about prospective partners for their children. What message does this send? In conversations of men among men we find the perpetuation of strict social controls on what should and should not be considered attractive and the acceptable expression of male sexuality. I have more than once felt the need of my approval from friends asking about someone they are thinking of dating or are currently dating. "Do you think she is cute?" Why should it matter? It only matters if you think she is cute. I can feel their need for their male peers' stamp of approval on their sexuality. The fact that the approval of our peers about the appearance of a potential partner influences our decision to enter into or remain in a relationship could perhaps explain, at least partially, the high divorce rate in our society. To use a colloquialism, we men need to grow a pair when it comes to our own sexuality.

We need to come back to certain instincts that we all have in at least this one respect. Man's instinctual sexuality is "forgiving" by our worlds standards. I don't like using that, because it implies there is something to forgive where there isn't, as I hope I've explained. People shouldn't be changing the way they feel to fit societies idea of beauty, we should have our own. And we should express it despite any censure or reprimand we might receive from those around us. Frankly, if a man is not attracted to biological signs of fertility, I fail to see why he does not see that as his own personal problem.

My only Racher is SOOO beautiful now that she is pregnant! She is so alive and is a wonderful symbol of life and progress in my life. Creation is wondrous! I feel inclined to bow before it, and I do so in a cosmic sense. I believe God created us and this world. I am humbled to be able to create something so beautiful with my Racher.