Life With Baby

Rachel recently stated working as a part time therapist so now 4 days a week I get to spend 4 1/2 to 5 hours with Chai. I love spending so much time with him! On days where I go in and work the full day, I feel a huge pit in my life. It is amazing how much you can miss someone who just smiles at you and coos at you for interaction. My life has changed...for the better. I feel like sometimes we're having conversations, even though hes just saying a bunch of goos and crap. He'll just continue making sound for a long time. He especially will do this if you sing to him. I think hes trying to mimic the sound. He is a little person with a big personality.

I think our Chai is very very calm. I heard a lot of horror stories about babies crying and crying. Chai rarely cries and when he does it isn't prolonged. Perhaps this is why I love staying home with him! I feel like we lucked out because of how easy he is. I hope this doesn't mean he'll be harder as he grows up, though quite a few parents have told me that their experience was that if they were calm, then they stay calm. Who knows.

Rachel and I are still adjusting to the change. It is different having someone else included in our relationship. There are some adjustments that have been difficult. But there is a certain sweetness our relationship has now that it did not have before. For example, I never knew how beautiful Rachel really was till I saw her asleep feeding Chai. Seeing them together has meant everything to me lately. I'm sure she'd tell you the same thing. I know Rachel much better now than I did before.

This could all just be because we've only been married a little over a year now. But I'm sure most of it has to do with the situation we've chosen to be in. It was unpredictable. But it is very pretty. Though more difficult, I love the new life that we have. There are ups and down, just like before. Only now at the end of the day I can look at my little sleeping boy and just wonder at life and its power. I feel like I didn't know what life was until I looked into his eyes. He is full of possibility and light. That type of beauty grows on you.

My pessimism about this world is at an all time low. Chai's relationship with Rachel is its living refutation. As hard as being a parent can be occasionally (so far), it is undoubtedly worth it.