Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be

This is my Jonathan. Today I love him for the sweet email he wrote me, for doing the dishes before he went to work, for comforting me when I was wailing about hating Utah, playing cards and watching SVU with me, for singing to our fetus, loving stories about my childhood, being so gentle with the zies, for wanting to do a homebirth not just because I want to but because he understands, and it's important to him, too, and for forgiving me in the same instant that I offend.

Here are our sweet Christmas zies! (Short for kittenzies). They are adorable. My little brother Tanner suggested we name them Amber and Sage, for their respective brown and green eyes. I love those names because they sound like teenager names to me. Amber and Sage are sisters, and horribly delightful. I never thought I could like a cat so much. I have almost entirely vanquished my phobia. Sometimes when the kitties make prolonged eye contact with me I get nervous, but most of the time I love cuddling them and watching them play. It makes me so happy how much Jonathan loves them. He is a sweetheart about all animals.

Birthday boy, breakfast, balloon. Brilliant. :)

With the winners of the Jonathan Birthday Style contest! Jordan won best style (which is his birthright as a hipster) by drawing his own hair on Jonathan, and Crystal won the novelty prize with this lovely creation inspired by Adam Lambert.

David won Jonpardy with an impressive 6400 points! He even got the final Jonpardy question right (which was "Who is John Galt?"). Here Jonathan is awarding him a box of chocolates. Sorry the pictures are blurry. I need to find someone to teach me how to take/edit good pictures before I have an adorable Stranger to photograph.

Tribal Gathering

Look! People really came to visit us IN OUR HOUSE! (I couldn't be in any of the pictures because I had body dysmorphic disorder due to the disaster which befell the Miami Beach Cake).

For Celeste! Who is the best! This is the tile, before it was finished, but you can kind of see how it turned out.

This is the most fantastically artistic picture I have ever taken. Haha. Look at cute blurry Jonny coming in the door next to me.

I struggle with these pictures. I never know what to do with my arms, or my face. I'm short, fat, proud of that. It really is okay. Sometimes I get stressed out about gaining weight, but the other day I read about someone I knew in high school who had to have a total hysterectomy (at age 24!) and it both horrified and humbled me. It must seem so indecent and revolting to complain about something really as trivial as weight gain to women who would give anything to be pregnant. I don't want to take this for granted. It really is a marvelous thing. I hurt so much for those who would have it be and it's not so. I know I can't comprehend that kind of pain, but I can at least be careful about my words and my thoughts, and recognize that this is a gift.
I was talking during this one, but it's kind of still my favorite.
I can feel the Little Stranger moving now and then throughout the day. It's nothing dramatic like Alien vs. Predator (which is what Toot asks me) but it feels like a gentle pop or blip against the side of the goldfish tank. It makes me feel so happy, like I have a sweet secret. I love knowing I can keep him completely safe for now (except from the flaws in my diet...I hope you enjoyed those hot cheetos today little guy!) There are only 4 months left! (Although I don't really believe in June. At this point, it's difficult for me even to believe in April.) If every pregnancy is this easy, I will probably have a thousand kids. The only adversity I've really suffered so far (I am 22 1/2 weeks as of today) is having to pee more often. And insensitive comments. Which really give me a lot to think about. Maybe I'll write more about that later. Hasta ver!