1 year!

Its been a year since Rachel and I "got together." That is crazy! I'm so happy that we are married. Its interesting looking back because every relationship seems like marriage isn't possible, or too hard, or not going to happen until it does! And I'm so happy it did. Its fun to think about decisions you make carrying so much weight...and we're mostly oblivious to the effects they have on our future selves. I wish I could see everything that way, I'd make better decisions. I am so happy I made the decisions to pursue Rachel, as scared as I was. It has brought me happiness I couldn't really suspect or anticipate. When I think of our beginning relationship and what we are like now, it's amazing how thing have changed. And all for the better in my mind. I love Rachel more than I ever have, and I know her better than I ever have. I hope that always continues.

I teach relationship classes for my job. One thing I always discuss is how things can get old and stale. I realize that this is a choice. It is the way our brain works. We ignore the normal or ever-present. It's in our nature. When we allow our mind to do what it will, we slip into equilibrium. Usually it's not the best equilibrium, but it's peaceful. I think in relationships this transfers as a sense of boredom or things getting old. Everybody has felt this feeling in some relationship in their life, if not in the most important relationship in their life. It is something that makes us scared of commitment and scared of marriage.

I try to teach that you have to overcome this part of yourself, the part that gets used to the normal. We should be oh so grateful for the things that are so normally good in our lives. In fact, if you look at the way most everyone is living, our lives here are usually anything but normal...and I mean that in the best way. My life is anything but normal. I live with the girl I love, and I love her more and more every day. What luck, I say! Every day should be a celebration of sorts, a celebration of the great blessing that is my only Racher. When it isn't, whose fault would that be? Really, it's only my fault. I choose what sticks out to me, I choose what I remember. Unless we fight our minds urges to make things normal so it can forget about them, I feel we're doomed to unhappiness. The truth is, when you're looking for it, no person becomes old. When you care for them, you keep finding interesting things out about them...or they keep doing more and more interesting things the more you know them! I find this true about Rachel. Every time she tells me a story of her childhood I get a new perspective on who she is. It's insanely interesting.

I may be just young and naive, but one thing I do know is that it is a choice for us to keep our relationships up. To keep them new. It isn't out of our hands or up to destiny. We choose who we love and who we will continue to love. It's all about the small choices, like choosing to be "together." I'm so happy I chose Rachel and that she chose me also. I hope we always choose eachother, however many other choices we make!