Monday, January 31, 2011


On saturday I celebrated my first birthday as a married man. It was amazing! It started out great with my favorite meal: Breakfast. Rachel made the BEST french toast I've ever eaten. I was so happy! We had tons of bacon and she cooked me eggs also. I was so happy after that. Then I loafed around for several hours and researched a keyboard I've been looking to purchasing. Anybody who knows me knows my love for tech. Needless to say I bought the keyboard and am typing on it right now.

Rachel had planned dinner at Carabba's, one of my favorite restaurants. She informed me that my local friends wouldn't be able to make it to dinner. I was sad, but I was still looking forward to dinner with my racher. When we arrived at Carabba's, they were all there! It was awesome. Absurdly in my mind I at first thought it was a coincidence. We had a lovely dinner, but the best was yet to come.
Everyone came to my house afterwards and Rachel had a coloring project for them! IT was pictures of me with the hair whited out! People had to invent a new birthday hairstyle for me and then I got to judge 2 of the best. Best done and most novel. It was amazingly silly and fun! We were all laughing our butts off.

Unfortunately the cake the Rachel made for me went awry. You see, I told her that we could leave the 2 cakes (double layer cake) in the pans while we went to dinner. I told her all the pros wait for the cakes to cool before doing there things...which was totally stupid. SO it turned out really crumbly. On top of that, I forgot to buy some key ingredients for the cake and so it was double trouble. I felt so bad. Rachel felt insanely bad too, but it was absurd as you will soon see.

Then came the best part: Jonpardy! Rachel had made a powerpoint that looked like jeopardy only with categories having to do with me! There were tons of questions about girls I had dated, legends of long time friends, and my quirks! I've never had so much fun on my birthday! Just watching everybody have so much fun and laugh. It was so special!
I'm not that big of a birthday guy really, I usually just like simple birthdays. But I have to admit, this was the best birthday ever. It literally couldn't have been better. I love Rachel! She made me feel so special and loved. Everybody should have someone like Rachel planning their birthday. It really inspired me. It makes me want to plan things for people, I had never really realized just how amazing things can be. I hope I can make her birthday half as special as she made mine. Thank you Racher!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

How wonderful life is, now you're in the world

Happy birthday to my sweet Jonathan!
I thought I could write a post extolling his virtues, but all my posts are like that.
So in commemoration of this most special day, I wrote a rhyme. Not a poem, but a rhyme. If I had a different voice and more street cred, it would be a rap :).

I love you Jonny!


HBSE was our first scene,
I sat in front, you sassed the Dean
2 years later had our start
Jamba juice, my bleeding heart.
Though bonded by our altruism,
you dumped me for my feminism
The Curses date your plan did thwart
You brought me as a last resort.
Evergreen then saved the day
(Bruce Hafen, Luca era gay)
A song of hope now strikes a chord
And bright light all around us poured!
Canyon drives and cupcakes brought
I told you all I'd ever thought.
Tea and Seinfeld, love took root
The cabin and "you're so damn cute."
November kisses and detox
Kate, Jack Shepherd and John Locke
Thanksgiving, paralyzed by fear
But you were strong, my choice was clear
Your life and mine now intertwined
Besandonos to Iron and Wine
Poetry and Christmas schemes
Sorrow in parting, wedding dreams.
My doubts were slain at last, rejoice!
You saw our future bright with choice.
Sweet hours together, hearts attuned
Loving words and the Commune
Fraught with school and foul weather
Sheer dopamine when we're together.
Arizona, gozo unremitting
South Park, good deeds and babysitting
cada dia mas fuertes los lazos
y mas amada yo entre tus brazos
Oh sweet May morning, at last the words
Jubilation, yellow bird!
Golden summer hand in hand
Playing, laughing, making plans
Fe, esperanza, caridad
Confianza, ansiedad
Florida and Mexico
Topaz Mountain, Oh Wyo.
Pizza Pie, Subway, Bombay
August longing, count the days.
Sang our didn't, danced our did,
Shady dealings with Jon's Id.
August 14 bright and blue
You promise me, I promise you
Human love and heavenly glory
Join to honor our love story
Then, at last, the Island! (Minus
persecution from Ben Linus).
Mission memories, waterfall
paraĆ­so tropical
Zapote, chimis, pica pollos
Hermosas playas y arroyos.
Shores of freedom, honey and the moon
School's starting, back too soon!
Vantage Point and County jail
Work and duty tip the scale,
But joyful are the hours sweet
When faithful friends and lovers meet...

I know you can't believe how hood your wife is
And I can't believe how good our life is
You are my sweetest heart! IT'S TRUE!
Therefore the least that I could do
Was write a birthday rhyme for you :).

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dinner with the Lowes

Tonight David and Laurel, my best friend and his wife, came over for dinner! Aside from being a little stressed out because dinner was a little late, it was so fun. Rachel is so good about inviting people over for dinner. They brought their wonderful children and they were both so funny and unique! Zacky is there oldest and he says and does really funny things. He was very curious about our kitties. Unfortunately they are very xenophobic and as a result they hide when strangers come. If they only knew that they are not strangers to us! We couldn't coax them from out from under the bed the whole time they were here. Patrick, as David says, is a destroyer. He walks around getting into EVERYTHING he can! He's a curious kid and he always seems to have an objective in mind. He had an accident and they realized it when he was climbing on our coffee table. As soon as they were done taking care of it, he came right back in in just his diaper and climbed right back onto the coffee table! I thought it was so funny and so entertaining. I love their kids, they're the greatest. David was telling me that his children aren't very much alike at all and they're also so unlike other kids. I hadn't thought of it before, but I've known quite a lot of children and he's right: they are very unique! I hope my children are unique that way too. I'm sure however they are I will love them.

Interacting with his kids and seeing them climbing all over everything, I got excited about having my own kids. As everyone knows, we have a boy on the way and I just can't wait to meet him. Its crazy that I'm finally going to be a father. I've waited so long and wished so much...I'm just really happy.

I had a sad thought today about all the children in the world who don't have anyone to affirm them. Abandoned or with uninvolved parents, my heart nearly broke. I looked at David's kids and just imagined how little they know about how lucky they are. They have loving parents who will do anything for them. Rarer and rarer that becomes. I realized that I mostly am ignorant of how lucky I am as well. My family wasn't perfect, but they were good to me. Kindness was the rule at my house and unkindness was the exception. Why? I'm just really lucky. David was blessed as was laurel and I think it shows in their parenting.

I looked at all the effort David and Laurel put into their kids and it is really inspiring. When they arrived I could tell they had had a hard time getting them to our house. I thought about how absurd it was that we always want to take credit for who we are. Don't get me wrong, I'm about as strong of a supporter of agency as you will ever meet. I truly believe that people can decide how they feel and treat people. But I know that the amount of effort people have put into our lives can show in our comportment. There are exceptions, but when people put genuine effort into us, its good for our souls.

David has put a lot of effort into me. He's a really good friend and I love him. Who I am was/is directly influenced by who he was/is. I am so glad that he found someone as great as laurel. I always wanted David to marry someone who really appreciated him, and I think Laurel does.

Thinking about this, I think how different I am because of the effort Rachel has put into me. I have so many idiosyncrasies that its hardly worth getting into their details. But Rachel bears most of them so patiently. I couldn't ask for a better partner. She loves who I am. I am lucky to be hers. It takes a special girl to love a man as strange as I. You should see.

As we start our family, I can't wait to see what is created when we both put intense effort into our son and then hopefully more to come. I don't know how things will turn out, but I can bet they'll be beautiful.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Man-Child

It's a boy! Isn't that crazy! I guess I never understood why everyone was so surprised or excited when they found it was either or, but I guess I've just realized that it was probably all about beginning to define your baby. I think it's amazing! Last time we went for an ultrasound, the baby only looked sort of like a baby. But this time it looked like baby! I couldn't have predicted how I would feel! I was so happy-nervous! It is beautiful! I can't wait to be a father and I just know that Rachel will be an amazing mother. She is so sweet and tender. She'll be kind to our children. I'm so excited I can barely stand it. I hope that I can be a good dad.

Rachel and I have talked a lot about how we want to be. One thing that is important to me is that I want to teach my kids about forgiveness. I want them to know that they can be/are forgiven of the mistakes they make. I think that is pivotal. I don't want my kids to feel bad for the things they do, I want them to figure out how to be accountable for the things they do and then move on. I remember as a child being racked with guilt occasionally, and my parents didn't even know it. I'm sure I won't be able to teach it as well as I would like, but its very important to me. My parents did a great job, I just wasn't very expressive about my emotions.

I love to think about what he'll be like! What will he prefer? What will he dislike? Will he think I'm funny or roll his eyes. Probably both, in that order. But I'm really excited. I can't wait to meet him!

Make sure you read rach's post below, we posted on the same day for the first time.

Someday we both will walk where a baby made tomorrow is again

Yesterday was the highly anticipated gender-discerning ultrasound for our Little Stranger. I’ve been so eager to find out for awhile now; sometimes in my office at work I would look down and say out loud, “Sweet baby, what ARE you?” It seemed like the mystery of mysteries!

The ultrasound appointment was right between two of my classes, so Jonathan met me after Dr. Limb’s class and we went over to the student health center where we behaved very demurely in the waiting room, and definitely were not picking at each other’s blackheads, because sick, who would do that, especially in public.

“Jonathan,” I said fretfully as I was not holding still for him to work on one in my cheek, “I have to be honest, I’m going to be a little disappointed if it’s not a boy.” (I have always really wanted a boy first; at the same time I recognize the arbitrary nature of ascribing certain attributes to an unknown personality based solely on gender. Just so you know.)

“I think it’s a girl,” he told me, based on my midwife’s conjecture from the previous day.

“I hope,” I continued, “that when they say it out loud, I have this bursting feeling of rightness, and suddenly I’ll be really happy no matter what they say. But that’s what people said would happen with my mission call.”

“Only Racher,” Jonathan said fondly, not showing me the results of his digging.

“That’s pretty good,” I said, not admiring his work. “I wish we could hire DOLHPINS to do people’s ultrasounds. Since they’re so good at sonography. You could just wade into the ocean, and they could assess the gender with a bunch of little clicks and then they could bounce either a pink beach ball in the air, or a blue one.”

Soon enough I was clambering onto the table and Jodee the bendita ultrasound tech was squirting that goo onto my ever more prominent panzcita. I was surprised how much bigger the Little Stranger was since the last ultrasound at 14 weeks (I’m almost 21 now)! It looks like a real baby now and not a seahorse or salamander. It was such a sweet thing to see, especially that little heartbeat pulsating in the middle. Jonathan and I veritably beamed at each other.

Jodee was very thorough and showed us all of the limbs, the stomach, the spine, the bladder, and the kidneys. “Kidneys!” I exclaimed. “I FORGOT about those! Good thing the baby remembered to make some!” I told Jonathan last week that it’s amazing how all I do is eat, (for better or for worse…mostly for better) and the baby basically constructs its own bones, tissues and organs, “like Starcraft, only in my uterus.”
Jodee measured the baby’s brain and said it was perfect. “Does it look really intelligent?” I said hopefully. “Oh, very,” she replied. “Biggest brain I’ve ever seen.” :)

Then she asked if we were ready to find out the gender. I wailed, “This is what I’m nervous for!” “Really,” said Jodee. “Most people are just nervous to find out if their baby is healthy.” (Pwned!). We laughed and I said I really was happy and grateful and overjoyed that the baby is healthy, but there’s just a finality with knowing either way…

“Well, it’s a boy!” she said brightly.

I screamed a little, “Oh my gosh! Really!” I looked at Jonny and asked, “Is that okay? Are you sad?” He was grinning so broadly, I didn’t need to ask. I told him I’d “make a girl next time,” which is anatomically impossible but sort of a politician’s promise I extended to show him my goodwill.

I am so very happy to be having a little guy! Or a man-child, as my Grandfather would say. My mind is teeming with thoughts but I just wanted to record the experience of finding out, for now. Ya lo quiero mucho a mi'hijo precioso, que bendicion tan agradable poder averiguar antes del nacimiento que va a ser hombre.

P.S: I'm not posting ultrasound pictures because I think they all look the same. I'm trying to be realistic about when my baby's cuteness will be emergent, which I am predicting will be around two months of age. :)