This is the choice everyone makes, when something has them trapped and hurting. I feel so much pain today for those that I love who are struggling caught and bewildered. I see all of that pain connected in a spiral: humiliation betrayal abandonment shame loss disappointment despair. I want to let them out, I want to let everyone out. At the expense of squelching the strength that could fill them if they decided to free themselves, I just want the pain and fear to stop. Because what if they are the ones who can't make it out? I torment myself with the idea that I could have painted a picture of the trap with words, to warn them, but that's impossible. I don't know enough. Don't I have my own scars, from my own lies? I'd like to believe I've left them all behind, but every now and then I look down and see the truth biting into my skin.
You can be free again, but you won't emerge whole. Not in the same way. And I am so, so sorry.
An Emblem of Two Foxes (Barry Spacks)You can be free again, but you won't emerge whole. Not in the same way. And I am so, so sorry.
simply to breathe
can make him bleed,
the fox whose leg
is trapped, whose will
awaits the kill.
why should he flail?
moving hurts,
so he lies still.
around him walks
a prouder fox,
his severed leg
a homily
on going free.
as if to say
it hurts - it hurts
either way.
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