Take us to heaven to live with thee there

I think the holidays can be so amazing, but they also throw into starker contrast the have-nots and what is broken and disjointed from the jubilant family party merrymaking time. Some have nowhere to go "home for the holidays." It’s not merry for so many. And it makes me hate the Santa myth even more, because if he (He?) were real why would there be children who get nothing, some who get fine gifts and some who get little crappy things? Sub for Santa programs because…if your parents can’t afford it or don’t care, he isn't coming. If you tell the truth, it doesn't seem as cruel, and you can learn some lovely things about human beings instead of ascribing that loveliness to something that doesn't exist. I loathe the Santa myth because it sounds so much like an allegory for God, (obedience is to blessings as good behavior is to presents) and I hate that at the end when they get wise you say “Santa isn’t real, but it’s fun to pretend to believe in him, so don’t tell the little ones and ruin the magic.” It gives me shudders.

Today I looked over while my husband was reading and saw this word: EMMANUEL: God with us. I can’t think of anything more beautiful. I hope it’s still true. If empathy is "feeling with" someone, putting yourself in their place and identifying with their experiences, Christ's life was the definition of empathy. That's why the story is so beautiful, it is one of mercy long before the garden and the cross or even the miracles. The mercy starts with the vulnerability of a baby being born in the cold, the vulnerability of a baby being hated by some before he was even born. He was unwelcome. He was innocent and came to know ugliness just like every single person in the world, had that jarring awakening to pain. It was so kind of him to come and walk our path. It makes me feel so much love for him. Just like us, God with us, even though no part of him ever belonged here (no one starts out belonging here, but most of us grow into it). I love the song "Oh Come oh Come Emmanuel" because I feel that plea for deliverance, and I need it.

I liked going to church today and singing and being able to draw Christmas out for as long as possible--Gift of the Heart last night and each person reading a scripture about light--sibling gifts this morning--"Mom's Christmas" afterwards. I wish we always just sang during church and stopped speaking as much. There is something about music that allows for endless depths of possibility and hope and sometimes words, as much as I love them, are too clipped and narrow to contain what my soul longs for. Today I found it in the Christmas hymns and in watching the people in the choir react to a little handicapped boy who was on the front row in his wheelchair. Several of them sang to him and were moved to tears. I counted the "marks of woe" in their faces--I know about their losses, even those I don't know well, I could tick them off on my fingers--lost child, lost husband, lost job, no grandchildren yet and time is running out--I thought about what they must be thinking as they were singing those words, what they were hoping for."the weary world rejoices," it really is a weary world for so many. "Risen with healing in his wings." I let my crusading banners of differentiation droop at my sides and I just thought of people and how they need to be loved, how humbled I felt by the glorious child in my arms, for all the good in the world, for the hope of healing I have in Christ. I am hoping, I am trusting in Him to be able to lift all of this with his healing wings.

For my gift to siblings and their spouses, I found out their favorite picture books from childhood and gave them back to them. It was so fun giving everyone the books this morning—some of the inscriptions made people tear up, which made me happy. I liked seeing my siblings as the children they used to be--the little boy who loved dinosaurs so much--the sister who fled with me from the orphanage and lived with me in the forest (in our games)--the little brother whose book I read to him thousands of times when he was 3. It’s miraculous and heartbreaking that we are grown up, that the “in-laws” are a regular fixture now instead of a novelty. Every moment of this present reality is so glorious and you never know when everything will change forever, and one day all of this will seem so far away and sweet. So I am loving it today.

Here is Lolly Business at our annual dinner at the Pope's table at Bucca de Beppo. I wish I had pictures of Christmas with the Stranges, but I didn't bring my camera. It was awesome though. Chai has a cousin who is about 9 months older than he is and so adorable. I can't wait until they are older and can play together. Chai's grandmother Strange was so kind to get him some beautiful books, toys, and clothes! I think everyone's favorite was the bear suit. I must eventually post a picture of that, maybe I will even write a whole post about it because it's the cutest thing I've ever SEEN!

Merry Christmas monkey boy!

Here we are on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day in the morning!

I love both of my Jonathans SO much.

This is from some weeks earlier. In the role of a lifetime, Chai played the Little Lord Jesus at a family party. He was brilliant and memorable for about 10 minutes, after which he hurled himself out of the manger and had to be rescued by my cousin (Mary and the shepherds were totally negligent) and was most unceremoniously replaced by a baby doll. My aunt started calling him "The artist formerly known as Baby Jesus."

Remember how before he was born we called him the Wondrous Little Stranger? And here he is, as the O.G Little Stranger! Check it! No crying he makes!

Christmas break really has been spectacular. There were many magnificents presents and magnificent persons present, but Emily, Abby and Mary get special shoutouts because I know they read my blog. Oh loyal my sisters! Here is Emily with Biscuit in the Santa suit she made him. Emily is a crafting genius, nay, a crafting savant. This Christmas alone, she made Jonathan a picture frame out of a computer motherboard (it's the most amazing thing we've ever laid eyes on, and we might start co-sleeping with it along with Chai) and she made this beauty for my father--out of a bike wheel!

The pictures are of races my father has won. It's incredible, and my Dad loved it so much!

And here is lovely Mary, who finally got what she always wanted--a "passionate bosom strap." I love Auntie Mahwah so much!

Here is Mahwah again with her GOTH present from Jonny--they had each other for Gift of the Heart. She gave him a kit with some hemp stuff and even finished some of the pieces he had made for himself years ago with his own beads (the picture was blurry!) and he made her a tree branch jewelry holder for all of her pretty pendants and feathers. I think it turned out really cool.
Abby made such a sweet present for Dit--a Japanese lantern, on which she painstakingly drew all of his favorite animals (no small task as Dit has exotic and particular tastes). Everyone was so touched when we saw this!

Here is Abby-yo-yo herself holding up the dress Cow made for her. It looked gorgeous on her and even matched perfectly with the shark stockings she got the next day:

These are all the presents I got for Chai. Just kidding! I actually got him no presents, because I knew he would get millions from his devoted grandmothers. He did. I feel kind of bad that this post is in no way comprehensive, but just trust me, it was super merry and introspective Christmas. :) I hope yours was, too.