"Mother, don't worry, she's got a garden, we're planting it together"
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Daughter
Recently we went to discover the sex of our baby. I didn't really mind waiting, but mah Racherr got really manic about finding out. We went up to sandy to Fetal Portraits. The man was so nice and invited us in. It was different this time. I don't know if his machine was better or what, but I could see so much more than I did with chai. When we first saw the baby's profile I thought that it looked like a girl. I was really very excited! I wanted a girl really bad, despite racherr's discomfort at the idea of having a girl. The doctor finally told us that we'd be having a girl. I was elated. It felt so strange mostly because I actually didn't know I was going to react the way I did. I thought of a little girl not unlike young racherr....and it seems insanely sweet to me! Rachel often recounts situations of her childhood and it makes me adore her. I hope our daughter will be similar. On the way out of the office though, Rachel was very worried. For her there was a lot of of pain about being a girl. While I can't fully appreciate what that must have been like, I feel for her. I share a lot of Rachel's fears and worries. There is just a lot of good evidence on the dangers of being a girl. I hate sexual assault and rape statistics. I hate that she could possibly feel like she is less than anybody. I hate that she'll worry about being pretty. I tried to comfort Rachel and told her that we would raise our daughter with light and freedom. I really believe if we can just teach our children that they are free, then they can do anything that they would like. If we can teach our children that no one is better/more worthwhile than anyone else then maybe they will believe it. I want our daughter to be confident. I hope that I don't set any hurtful expectations for her. I hope that I can be a good example of love in her life.
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Jonathan, you will be a wonderful father for your daughter, just like you are to little Chai. My girls adore you. . . for good reason! You and Rachel are such sweet parents. Just don't focus on all of that negativity that goes along with life, whether you are a boy or a girl. I remember having a discussion with you about how much our parent's prayers protected us through our lives. I really believe that the power of the prayer of a parent for their child is an amazing thing! I have seen it in my own life. I have been prompted to go and check on a certain child at just the right moment, or have known just what to say during a serious conversation. Not that prayers can protect us or our children from going through hard things. That's what this life is for. But prayers certainly do help. Having girls is a wonderful thing! There are so many beautiful experiences that go along with being parents of girls. My girls are happy that they are girls. They wouldn't want it any other way. None of them have expressed concerns about any kind of unfairness. If anything, Jaycob gets the brunt of our sexism. We are always talking about how boys are so much more of a mess, loud, rambunctious, etc. But we love him anyway ;) I'm so excited to see how the dynamic of your sweet little family changes with the newest addition. It's always a fun adjustment. I think all of your worries will be swept away when you see that beautiful little baby's face.
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