Third eye blind

Tonight I watched their blond little heads bob in the sunlight streams while they ran through the sprinklers. Then we painted, and they boldly mixed and swirled, and Chai told me "This is a painting of WIND!" Earlier today I talked to Frimet and told her my story--much less intense than the rigidity of Hasidim but still, we both realized it was something like it--and I told her about how good exploring has been for me and how it has helped me recognize what I truly want out of life and allowed me to release so much that sat on my desperately trying chest for years. I am excited to hear more from her--this woman who also birthed her second child (a daughter) on a cold January morning, who had an arranged marriage at 18, who shaved her head for her patriarchy. I am really excited about writing a piece for the Forward, even though Naomi warned me about trolls, just to be able to be involved and to write something seems so worthwhile. Naomi is so sweet and encouraging. Most definitely my exodus has brought us closer. After the call with Frimet Doug and Emme took the smalls to the dinosaur museum and Jon and I went to check out our Quiet Cricket. It meant so much to me to have Jonny there and to be able to spend a few minutes alone. He got teary when the technician let us hear baby's heartbeat. It was fun not to just see the baby but to see through the baby! The chambers of the heart, the pocket of the brain that stores spinal fluid. I don't know them, right now I just know where is blood pumping through a one-pound system and a cute little arm tucked up by the face and I'm so sad it's happening so soon. I wish so much I had been able to space babies out better so I could enjoy them more. It is exciting, though, the unknown and a new thing struggling to survive, resting its feet on my cervix. Please please please be safe, and grow strong, and come gently, and be known to us.

known to us.