I remembered right away when I woke up that you were one year old and I kissed your damp sweet-smelling hair and whispered a bunch of silly things to you. Right now I love calling you my Nima and my Nimble Bee. I had to leave you sleeping so long-limbed sprawled out because I was going to breakfast with Daddy (for his birthday, too!) and then to work, so the next time I saw you was when I came home (2 hours early because all 3 of my afternoon clients cancelled! Ah, swing low sweet birthday miracle!) You started yelping and squawking your "Eh! Eh! Eh!" as soon as you saw me. I cuddled you and fed you and then caused you to despair as I started trying to make the cake and clean up a bit and had to put you down.
Doug and Emily came over and as usual you were elated to see Doug. You are always reaching up for him. Tonight when he fed you dinner (breakfast) he said "She really is just like a little bird!" I loved to see you opening your presents. You were hesitant at first and then when you saw the little doll you sort of cooed and closed your arms around it. You smiled and smiled. I felt so good that it made you happy! Chai immediately tried to take it away ("I have this!") but I stopped him. You were running and darting around everywhere in your pink leggings and ballet tutu. Your grandmother sent some gorgeous clothes that we joked reminded us of the Shadow Ridge Ward and we put the polka dot monkey jacket on you and you flapped your arms and wiggled and made us all laugh. I love how you turn your face up to me and giggle and stamp. You kept grabbing books and backing up, sitting down in our laps. It was so cute and you would fold your hands in anticipation while we read to you. You are such a quirky and happy girl. I am excited to get to know you so much better in this year that comes.
We were granted so many sweet flashes of memory today, of you clutching your doll, flapping around with the balloons, cuddling with your sweet head nuzzling our shoulders. It was a complex day, too, because your uncle got lost and arrived so sad, and then burned the cookies he made, and it reminded me that these baby days don't last forever, and that I don't ever want anything to hurt you. I'm a little sad your first birthday was on a Wednesday in January, because it's one of the hardest days to carve out a celebration, but it was also a good birthday to have a family party and read "Blueberry Girl." You are my love, my little darling, you are my attachment child. I'm glad to be here with you now and your soft body and starfish hands keeping me company every night. Thank you for this year, sweet Sparrow.
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