There are things that drift away, like our endless numbered days

This soft life I've sunk my teeth into is unexpectedly sweet. I love having Thursdays off work. There are a lot of social engagements and I feel like I leave my kids too much already, but it feels so nice and validating to be invited to things. I love Chai's fresh, sweet face and his curly hair. He never eats anything but somehow he's still getting taller and heavier. I love smoothing his curls and kissing his face. He tells me, "You bu-ful, Money!" and he's always head-butting Sparrow and it makes me angry a lot faster than I'd like. It's interesting that the Syd Riggs show gives me fierce nostalgia for a life and experiences I've never had, maybe a splintered off piece of alternate reality that could have been mine if I'd been a bit braver and worked a little harder. It's okay. I have enough goodness on my own. Alicia asked me for help to list songs from the early 2000s for a "douchey" playlist and I had all these songs and memories come back to me...it's amazing that was fourteen FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Practically as old as we were then. How, HOW? Oh, I hope I have a lot of years left in my life. I hope I get to see my children grow and be happy. I'm so grateful to have healthy, beautiful, robust kids. Sparrow just lights up when I smile and talk to her and she is always busy doing the work she feels she must do...stacking things, removing the wipes one by one, slowly tasting orange peels. I have great memories of bringing her to light. I love her more all the time. We are sweet sleep companions and practically symbiotic. She is demanding but kind and I really really love her. I want to travel the world with my girl. I don't have many experiences longing to be able to do things I can't do...not since Jon and I have been together. He's so good to me and so good for me.